Vacation?

This is the first time I'm getting some time off from work, I mean a real vacation. No calls from the office, no friends who need me to go shopping with them. Lone time was just the thing that I needed, and I got it for sure. Sometimes you will always get what you want one way or another, it's just that you need to be a little more patient. And, that grand quality has always been scarce in me; everyone advices me 'go slow', 'relax', 'patience!' and 'calm the fuck down'. You see I got a wacky nerve, it'll be hard for me to contain myself. I find it real hard sometimes to control the words that fall out of my mouth. It's just sad that I can't go back in time edit,re-edit shuffle things around to make the things that I said a bit more meaningful and beautiful 'like writing and re-writing'.

To kill off sometime, I took a ride yesterday evening. Wearing shorts and a jacket I looked all set for a ride. Music! I love listening music, and almost always do. Be it during a walk, commute, or a ride, I need me some music to mute down the “nagging writer's voice” in my head. And, Apocalyptica - A metal band with a lot of string instruments did hell of a job smoothening my ride. I was listening to the song “I'm not strong enough to stay away” while wondering if I should pay a visit to my high-school crush (more of an obsession really). 

Before I could decide I was at her place. I was strong enough to walk away, while I was a few feet 'close' to her house's threshold. There was a train wreck in my mind while I was thinking things over, and the way back to my bike which I parked cautiously away was 'spooky'. The rules of 'Time' went numb, I heard my heartbeat and was caught up in the moment. No matter how much I hate myself for being in that situation, I enjoyed the moment. The memory of this little encounter may resurface to guide me to walk away from things that are better avoided.